Red Dwarf

Red Dwarf was a clear favourite past-time from my youth. Originally released in 1988, it was an instant cult show with an 11 year lifespan, solidifying the casts careers and instigating a split following of those idiots that 'didn't get it' to the other idiots who completely adored the show and it's brand of crazy comedy and proposterous plots.

Created by Doug Naylor and Rob Grant; Red Dwarf had some of the best characters ever to grace a CRT. My favourite has to be the 'Cat,' an evolved feline humanoid intent on womanising and subject to impractical bouts of vanity. Genius. I can never tire of catching up with this iconic sci-fi-com and, in-part the best past-time was working out which popular sci-fi was being parodied by the show.

Originally Red Dwarf was very nearly not made, but thanks to the persistence of the creators, the BBC finally allowed the lunacy to become reality. But I am sad that such a classic show came to an end but all good things must come to an end so we may cherish them.

Related Links
Red Dwarf (official site)
Red Dwarf Episodes Collection

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New Eden lacks consistent immersion. The level at which one is layered under the veneer of a virtual galaxy endured. An example of this is docking. In almost any film where spacecraft are required to dock or undock, the event itself is celebrated, an opportunity to portray size, scale and weight to help make the ships themselves appear larger in your minds eye. In EvE Online the suspension of 'dis-belief' is shattered every-time a ship docks, undocks, swaps vessels, jumps through stargates, ejects a canister, fires missiles or does anything which does not respond in a fashion that’s consistent with the inferred or expected.

To be fair, these things are superfluous to the mechanics of New Eden, but in the interests of maintaining a healthy dollop of immersion, these omissions should be addressed. Perhaps a cut-scene animation could be created to run during the docking manoeuvre using the current gorgeous real-time graphics engine to show a ship being towed into the intended station, a POD being transferred via mechanical arms or tubes from one ship to the next, a missile or drone leaving its launch bay and, in the case of drones similarly returning to dock with the host.

At present, docking/undocking we have a progress bar which, I’m sure you’ll agree does absolutely nothing to maintain the assumption that we are in a hugely powerful vessel of steel and that this vessel is in one of the most hostile environments known, space. If CCP’s strategy is to attract an increasingly diverse spectrum of players to New Eden by appealing to those paying pundits who find shiny things interesting, then the trimmings may become much more important to the sort of clientele they are aiming for.

Obliterating the lag monster is of up most importance to our sanity and should be given due attention, but reading patch notes where "A spelling mistake has been corrected," there is obviously some manpower overflowing at CCP...devote it to something interesting please.

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The Trap

A wonderfully covert method of engaging in guerrilla warfare is to use a logon trap within the target system. This involves deploying gank pilots within said system, preferably when the enemy is diverted or vacant. The fleet then logs off and awaits instructions to logon and emergency warp to the last known location. Whilst this is happening the targets are held via a bait ship, something not obvious to avoid suspicion, fielding a formidable omni-tank.

As the target ship is held the fleet can emerge from the confused darkness of emergency warp and proceed to the target for obliteration. The nasty trick with this method is that the local beacon will not divulge intel to the enemy about fleet presence until it’s (hopefully) too late. I have never yet used this method of trapping a target, favoured by greater warlords, but the mechanics themselves are consistent.

At this time a logon trap is set against my enemy, it’s a matter of revenge you see. Everything is set; capable pilots waiting in the targets’ system, all that is needed is the target itself for my own personal flavour of revenge – it will be served cold.

Happy hunting…

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