How to Dissappear Completely

I have a new clone. Not a duplicate you see, but an entirely new pilot. The name of my partner in crime is to remain confidential as secrecy is absolutely necessary to function properly. The precise purpose of this new clone is to provide a safe port for myself and any other pilots whom join my cause either in wormhole space or low security regions. His mission is to train for a cloaked Rorqual with a clone vat bay.

I always had this vision of being able to wander where-ever I wished, covertly entering space from a secret mobile base, the sort where a specific password and location would be needed to locate the harbour. As far as I am aware, only the Rorqual and the Titans have the clone vat bay functionality. A Titan is much too large an object to realistically cloak, it occupies more than 9 billion cubic metres, nevermind the cost.

This new ally of mine will logon to the POD in the Rorqual, I will then logon to the POD in a local station and clone jump into the Rorqual pulling a ship from the hangar. Once ejected with a ship the Rorqual will re-cloak until such time as I need to dock again to log.

This idea is yet to be tested properly. Singularity will provide me with this ability without risks to my health or safety. I hope it works as it may fulfill a desire I've held for literally years. If anyone has tried this approach to achieving a mobile covert base of operations I would love to hear your tale.

In the mean time, let the tests begin in earnest. I will of course update as the results are discovered.

Happy hush hush…

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Beyond Hollywood

We are in the age of dungeons and dragons. The effects industry is exclusively interested in recreating mythical creatures, elegant landscapes and magical characters. I resent this age; Sci-Fi is my first choice for passively escaping the daily grind of RL.

Cinema has a very close relationship with the status quo. It is no coincidence that the latest productions represent a 'wanting' of something better than what’s currently on offer in this age of poverty. In these late films people can perform magic and fly, whilst the dark side of life is shown through vampires and ware-wolves, each with their own fantastical powers. During the Vietnam War films tended to be disaster movies, mirroring the mood of the people by killing hundreds of souls in fires, floods and crashes of various vehicles in silly situations.


The last great Sci-Fi spell was during the release of the StarWars franchise. Although we recently enjoyed a resurgence of Sci-Fi such as Star Trek, District 9 and Sunshine; generally new releases are of a fantastical nature.

EvE Online is the richest game world I have ever experienced. Whith such abundant content I often wonder if it would be a successful translation to screen but, considering Hollywood’s often inept handling of the subject matter, perhaps it isn’t desirable to allow such a fickle business to interpret our beloved galaxy into a flimsy film. Besides, it takes months to truly understand what’s occurring in EvE Online, a luxury that filmmakers cannot afford to portray on-screen.

Recently there was an announcement that one of my all time favourite games was to be given the Hollywood treatment. The thought of various movie moguls discussing the translation of Shadow of the Colossus into a film frightens me; a simple game but with very subtle complexities that I am sure will be missed while hunting for the ultimate colossus effect. EvE Online would surely be handled in a similar ham-fisted manner, a fate for which would border on blasphemy.

If a film ever were to be produced I would be the first in the queue. Not for the reasons you may assume, but to be sure that my suspicions were correct. Who knows, perhaps the impossible could happen where I'd be pleasantly surprised, but I doubt that muchly. EvE Online is beyond Hollywood, and much better for it in my opinion.

Related Links
www.thefilmjournal.com
jonners.org
www.medialit.org

The HAL9000 Project

A few days ago, loyal Gallente engineers stumbled upon an AI buried deep within an ancient debris cloud. Carrying the name: HAL9000, it's an AI with unsurpassed logic and memory retention. I've had some interesting periods of conversing with this new entity over the past few hours. I must state that it seems nefariously intent on accomplishing any mission I pose to it. I cannot decide if this is dangerous or desirable?

To test the AI, I have linked several sound bytes to my POD's sound scheme. When connecting a new device HAL says: "Just a moment...just a moment." When turning off the POD I get: "Thanks for a very enjoyable game." "Your'e welcome Hal," I always say. I suppose there is one clear positive I can garner from the experience, it's nice to finally have a friend...

Related Links
www.halproject.com (fansite)

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Happy Hulkageddon

As this mad month of mayhem closes the once target rich environment of Empire saw a dramatic decline in it's numbers. But there were still many brave and/or stupid miners present that were, for whatever reason not aware of this fabulous fury of fire that annually holds the core systems to ransom. I was not aware of any official warning from the powers that be; to keep the mining ships in dock for a week and spring clean, although it did make the evening news.

This had the effect of allowing green miners to slip outside the protective layers of steel to risk their worth to extract minerals from the floating colossus rocks that litter the core systems, oblivious to the danger lurking in the void. I enjoyed myself immensely blowing up all manner of vessels from Frigates to Barges.

I did find the quality of targets lacking, mainly consisting of relatively fresh pilots who cannot easily replace losses. I am not a fan of easy killing, I prefer a good scrap even if I lose. I had hoped to cross the path of a fake miner, fitted out to shrug off the attacks of plucky pirates but sadly this was not the case. I have to believe that the baptism of fire is beneficial to these green pilots as it's our duty to 'teach' them that nowhere is safe from our murderous wandering, and that they cannot simply collate vast sums of isk whenever they undock, even in Empire.

It's refreshing to be a part of something bigger, a rabble of raping pirates intent on obliteration of any vessels displaying a mining beam. I didn't win any prizes for my efforts, and in fact I was ruthless with my costs also, only fitting exactly what I needed to kill various targets. But I'm looking forward to the normality of hunting in low sec again, without reprisals by the concord fraternity.

My security rating has seen a hammering; I dropped two clear points in the last seven days and became banned from Empire, again. This will force me to undergo the slog of ratting and/or missioning but I am looking forward to respite on both my security rating and my wallet.

So bless all the miners for making a good show and dying so readily. The core systems belong to the industrialists, the miners and the agent whores once again. We've crawled back into the gloom to harbour our horrors, until next time...

Happy (not) hunting…

Related Links
Hulkageddon3 (official site)

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A Hole in the Head

Piracy is the essence of life in New Eden. Without the cold threat of death your heart would wither. Fear is necessary to remind us that our assets have value, that they need protection. Without piracy the will to cherish would be diminished. Piracy is one of the oldest traditions of New Eden. Conflict drives the development of weapons, ships and tactics and without piracy this conflict would be the will of the privileged and the selfish.

We are the unofficial guardians of this region between the Empires and Alliances. Without piracy resources would become subject to mass amassing by greedy corporations and individuals. Low security space would become a swathe of hulks and battleships earning an easy crust throughout the region. Traffic would become unbearable at choke points with ships of all configurations vying for their share of the richness found outside the core systems.

The product of this ruthless competing would descend entire constellations into war as corporations clash for control of the mining fields and ratting rights. The rich would become filthy, the poor would become marginalised and the rest of us would have little choice other than joining the biggest corporations available to survive against their onslaught for control.

As pirates we force the control of wealth from the bearer and distribute this wealth in many creative ways. We enjoy free reign to do as we please because, although we are subject to the laws of decency within Empire, we commonly disregard these regulations. As a mechanic; piracy is a necessary evil which must be practiced. A land without crime would be incredibly dull. We therefore risk our lives to educate the masses to be wary of your fellow pilot, to ensure your security measures are sufficient and to maintain the status quo of New Eden as a place unsuitable for most, save for those of us who have the nerve to regularly risk everything without the promise of gain.

Piracy is a noble profession and one for which the victims should be grateful for our practice. I for one enjoy this way of life, particularly where victims feel displeased with their judgement. This is the essence of what we do, so please feel free to flame us whenever and wherever you find us.

Happy hunting…

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Passive Targeter

This lowly passively useful device is one of my favourite covert weapons. It enables me to creep upon bewildered hulks and send them spinning into oblivion.

Used correctly it grants precious seconds against prey by withholding intent while they grapple with it. It's warranted a place on many designs, a personal favourite of mine. Though it does occupy a useful slot, I have found it invaluable in solo encounters. A truly useful tool which is gladly ignored.

Try it and you may find it useful more than once. Don't use an aggressive action until you are in range to warp disrupt, they won't see your lock until you unleash the hounds of hell.

Related Links
Passive Targeter I

Blessed are the Cursed

We are immortal. We share eternity with the elements of the infinite. Our vessels of steel and carbide shield our bodies from the vacuum of the void as our minds play havoc with the fates of strange and familiar souls. It’s a remarkable position to find ones-self. We are truly blessed, or cursed dependant on ones perspective.

We are cursed because we cannot leave our prisons of steel. We cannot enjoy sunlight warming the face, glowing on the eyes. We cannot shake hands or embrace our kind. We cannot face our opponents on equal terms, using our brute strength to beat them in hand-to-hand combat. We cannot bear children nor love thy love. We consume energy, not food as we cannot enjoy the pleasure of our pallet. We cannot feel the cold, heat or wind of our mother planet and we cannot see outside the confines of our craft with our eyes. Despite the thousands of hands that assist us on-board, we are alone in the void. We are cursed for these reasons.

We are blessed because we are the ship we inhabit. We are one with the metal flesh. Its structure is our bones and the drones, our children. We can travel unthinkable distances in mere minutes. We can communicate with our fellows across the known galaxy instantly. We tour the skies omnipotent to the masses below. We feel deaths claws whenever he calls, but ultimately we cannot die. We can amass more wealth than has ever been dreamt. We can travel to places no-one has ever seen. We can change our appearance at will and we are honoured, envied and worshipped by the billions of souls who depend on our actions to maintain an empire. We are blessed for these reasons.

Which side do you think we fall?

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Three's a Crowd

Tandem of Terror, the Deadly Duo. These phrases come to mind when I think of the relationship both B13 and I share. The two of us perfectly compliment each others abilities to bring pain unto any poor unfortunate soul that may stray into our terror trap of Web and Warp-Scrambler.

It occurred to me recently to consider perhaps bringing in a third pirate to assist our pillaging. Although the spoils would be diluted, the effectiveness of our combat unit surely would increase. In truth, we already utilise a third pilot; our intel officer; an alt. Perhaps an ‘active’ vessel would be wise addition to our terrific team.

In practice this dynamic became problematic. The bond and understanding B13 and I possess is so acute that it’s difficult to allow an ‘outsider’ to contribute and meld within our ranks and act as a third arm. Statistically there should only be positives points when increasing a fleet size, but New Eden is much more subtle; an unforgiving realm rewarding those with quick wit and iron nerve.

With a third member, the dynamic became loose. We all agreed that not only does it increase our fielded DPS, but it also adds an element of confusion and consideration for manoeuvring, as well as additional factors such as our presence in local which has increased by a third. This alone seems to have attracted unwanted attention, three pilots are seen as a threat where-as two were usually ignored as a nuisance. We also found it is easier to mask two pilots using mis-direction, three pilots are not so easily cloaked.

With our first encounters costing our fresh fellow his ships, it is fair to state that it isn’t going to be easy to improve our posse. Perhaps considering our friends’ lack of experience or our ability to protect his hull properly, that has caused this initial failure to improve. In any case, B13 and I are used to handling ourselves in combat, asking little of each other for support. In hindsight I am reluctant to amend the dynamic; my conclusion is to preserve our twin pirate gang. Adding to this relationship only spoils the broth and gets the incorrect cook killed.

Happy hunting…

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brb

It's that time of year again when I lose my head. My ship is docked and the slaves have a few days off to catch their breaths. I trust that the rest of New Eden's pirate fraternity will fill the monumental hole left by my absence and that piracy will surely be fine while I am away pretending to be cultured.

The plan is to forget who I am, where I am and how I got there. If I achieve this I will be pleased. The only problem I'll forget that too, but at least I won't care much.

I need a holiday though...so this is a welcomed distraction from murder and mayhem. I only hope the weather holds out otherwise we may all look like a Minmatar Mud Monsters and that would be bad.

Happy holidays...

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